Bird droppings

So, as part of my class on ASL, I'm supposed to go visit Deaf events and engage in communication with folks. I did my first one this past weekend, and... wow.

First of all, like most hearing people, I've had limited experience interacting with Deaf folks in my life. What little awareness of them I've had has been gleaned from stereotypes portrayed in movies and television. It doesn't help that American hearing culture uses Deaf behaviors and vocal accent as a way to code for "retarded" people in media.

Now, prior to this event, I was self-aware enough to recognize that these images were false and reject them. But it wasn't until I went to this event that I was able to oust some of the subconscious remnants of my upbringing regarding this.

I think that I had always thought of Deaf people as "hearing people that lack something." They were reduced. Disabled. Diminished. Less than. People to be pitied. This wasn't something conscious, but an unconscious idea that I had swallowed from the culture I was raised in. But what I saw this weekend was anything *BUT* "less than."

I went to "A Feast for the Eyes," an event specifically intended to share poetry, fiction, self-biography, and other stories from the Deaf community with hearing and Deaf alike. I watched a Deaf man of Japanese descent talk about his experiences in the WW2 internment camps for Japanese. I watched a woman tell a presumably fictional legend about the horrific experiences of 3 bear trappers out in the woods. A child told the story of how she learned to love the color purple. A young man shared a poem he created about the changing attitudes towards natural beauty in our world.

As the various people came on stage and shared their stories, I realized that, at least in this place, it was *I* who was diminished, lacking, and less than, not them. Here were these people, sharing beautiful stories and poetry and I was only able to understand them through the help of the hearing interpreters that were translating their signing into English speech. I realized, there, that Deaf people are just as capable, functional, and *ABLE* as any hearing person. Where there are problems is where they have to function within our hearing culture. Where we expect and demand that people be hearing to fully participate in our world. But within their own culture and world, they are not limited at all. And indeed, they are quite capable of functioning the hearing world through a variety of learned skills, assistive devices, and such.

It was a fascinating shift in my perspective, one that I didn't expect to have. I didn't realize that despite having started researching this, I still held these notions about Deaf people. And it was interesting to see those ideas fade away as I watched these people share their own culture with us hearing folk.

I also had the depressing realization that many of the hearing people I've been around in my life would react to Deaf people's sounds with laughter and mockery. Deaf people have what they call an "accent" that is commonly seen in our culture as the voice of a mentally handicapped person, deserving of laughter. And when they interact, they make many noises that are generally unheard in the hearing world: Pops, grunts, groans, and other noises that would make a lot of hearing people laugh and mock. It was really depressing, but also nice, to realize that here in this place, these people could be themselves and make these noises without getting shit from hearing people that see it as a big old joke.

To finish up, I did get the opportunity to use my rudimentary ASL with some folks there. But boy-oh-boy do I have a long way to go before I can really carry on a conversation. My ability to read sign is absolutely abysmal, and even signing really slowly, I still had to ask people to repeat themselves several times before I understood what they were trying to say. And it was rather disheartening to see Deaf folks squinting at my own signing trying to understand what I was saying, making it clear that I was not being very articulate or clear in what I was saying. *sigh* Learning languages is hard!

On the bright side, I learned a lot, got a lot of experience, and tried something new. I reached out to communicate with new people despite massive amounts of anxiety and awkwardness. In time, perhaps this will get easier. :)